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Developing a Template for Successful Living



holism iiIn computer literature, a template is a file that serves as a starting point for a new document. When you open a template in Microsoft, for example, it is pre-formatted in some way. Likewise, success-thinking is a type of ‘template’.

We are not automated; we are each individually unique in our design and expression, but we each have been ‘preformatted’ with a success template that the Creator has given each of us. Using this Divine template allows us to see the delusion of using material gain as a gauge of our success; it transfers the locus of success inwardly toward character.

We have these ‘built-in’ mechanisms that, when used properly, will propel us into higher consciousness and awareness.

Therefore, when faced with our greatest challenges, all we have to do is fall back on our template for successful living and we will be victorious!

Our success template empowers us to do these three things.

Change Ourselves

Oprah Winfrey says, The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by mere changing his attitude.

Our success template is important because it is the impetus for changing one’s future. We literally become our own change-agent. We can change our circumstances, change our thinking, change our perception and change our behavior.

Show me a man who is immersed in self-defeating, self-destructive and self-immolating thinking and I will show you a man ignorant of the power he holds within; a man who only needs to tap into his success template and he will immediately right himself and assume a dominant attitude.

Control our Environment

The soul is stronger than its surroundings, notes William James, the father of modern psychology.

Once we tap into this success template, we begin to recognize how much power we have to control the only thing we can really control: our immediate environment. Our success template teaches us the difference between what we can control and what we might only influence – and the serenity to know the difference.

We choose wisely due to what we have learned from experience. Now we know instinctively that some situations do not warrant the heedless rendering of invaluable mental resources. Our peace of mind becomes priceless.

We no longer have to react – now we may respond to life’s challenges!

Reach me at: http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com

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Healing You Body, Mind and Spirit Together



Chronic disease is any illness lasting three months or longer and generally cannot be prevented by vaccines or cured by medication, nor do they just disappear, according to MedicineNet. Chronic disease is a widespread issue in America; over one hundred million Americans suffer from some form of it. Chronic disease has exponentially burdened our healthcare system to the tune of millions of dollars.

Alternative healthcare experts point to the emergence of holistic healing as an antidote for chronic disease. Often, when we come against a major illness in our lives, we tend to focus on that illness to the exclusion to other parts of our being.

The key to responding to any crisis we face is to harness the energy of our body, mind and spirit and maintain a harmonious balance. This is holistic healing in a nutshell.

How much time we devote to each sphere of our lives determines how successfully we navigate life’s vicissitudes. Here are three keys to help heal our body, mind and spirit together.

Holistic Healing Merges the Parts into the Whole

When our bodies are negatively impacted with disease – from a common cold to cancer – it impacts not just the physical, but the mental and spiritual, as well. Everything from your prayer life to your social life to your psychological make-up is challenged. Our world and our lives are interconnected and interdependent and integrated in so many different ways. What impacts the body impacts the mind and the spirit.

The venerable actress Meryl Streep says, I have a holistic need to work and to have huge ties of love in my life. I can’t imagine eschewing one for the other.

It’s important to keep a balance between these spheres of life and that’s what a holistic healing approach does.

Holistic Healing Broadens our Perspective

The only thing you have control over is your perspective; you have a choice about how you view it, writes Chris Pine. It’s all about context. When we get a cold, we focus on the eliminating that cold. When we receive a negative health report, our attention immediately fastens upon that report. It’s human nature. What we fail to realize, though, is the larger reality of our life in the context of the challenges we face.

We focus on the station we’ve arrived at – but often we fail to appreciate the many stations in life at which we’ve prospered, lived our dreams and achieved our goals. Holistic healing gives us the wherewithal to place our lives into context, to understand that where we are is not where we’ll remain.

Holistic Healing Increases our Gratitude

Holistic healing that imparts an attitude of gratitude brings a fresh and rewarding dimension to our challenges. When we think from a holistic perspective, we begin to form a greater appreciation for our lives. You can literally heal by being grateful for who you are and what you have.

As Melody Beattie writes, Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Wake up each morning – not with an idea of the obstacles which lie ahead – but rather with an appreciation for the beauty of each moment your experience and watch how your life heals.

We can promote healing in our lives when we care for our body, mind and spirit together.

Reach me at http://www.infinitestategiescoaching.com

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Why Faith Matters


imagesCATFRAZII read an article recently which details the astonishing drop in church attendance on the part of American blacks, especially young Millennials. The reasons cited are quite familiar: the chasm between one’s intellectual integrity and one’s faith; the church’s stated mission has become stagnant and outdated; the church is perceived as a judgmental institution. Parallel to this drop in attendance, though, are equally alarming upward trends in suicide rates, especially for black men between the ages of 25-36.

Is there a relationship between the two? Undoubtedly, in most cases I believe. Hopelessness runs the gamut of the American experience – black, white or brown. From the perspective of the African American, however, hopelessness is inextricably tied to our place of subjugation and discrimination (especially now as we enter the Age of Open Bigotry).

How are we to cope? For me, everything points back to faith – to what we believe, why we believe it and whom we believe in. We have degrees, we have access, we have material things, but in the end what really matters is our faith.

Faith matters to the degree that who we are and how we respond to the challenges to life depends on our relationship with a Power far greater than ourselves.

Faith Helps Us Cope With Tough Times

Someone once said, “Tough times don’t last. Tough people do.” Faith gives one the ability to greater cope with stress. Stress is an everyday reality; no matter who you are or where you reside, stress will meet you. We cope with stress in one of two ways, generally: one, we develop positive coping methods or, two, we turn to negative coping methods. Faith is the equalizer. Studies have found that high levels of faith commitment correlate with lower levels of depression and stress. Don’t be in a position in which you deal with stress by adopting negative coping methods AND you do not rely on your faith.

Faith Contributes to Positive Thinking

How we think or reflect on our challenges determines how successfully we deal with them. Faith is an undeniable factor in how we resolve conflict and how we respond to our challenges. Many people are unable or unwilling to initiate the effort to think positive. Thinking positive requires hard, mental labor that most people simply lack the intestinal fortitude for. When you turn to your faith, though, the difference is astounding. Faith provides the foundation for turning a negative into a positive.

One of the central tenets of faith is the canon of scripture. Holy Scripture is by far the greatest source of positive motivation and thinking we could ever have at our disposal; it undoubtedly contributes to our ability to remain positive in an otherwise negative reality. Whether it’s the Holy Bible, Koran or any scripture that promotes well-being, the truths offered by these ancient texts are essential to how we adjudicate our faith.

Faith Reinforces Good Relationships

Our ability to deal positively with challenging relationships depends to a great deal on what we believe. Good relationships and faith are essential to one’s well-being. Who we are and how we relate to one another hinge, to a great degree, on how we understand and live out our faith.

When we come together for worship, for example, we foster good relationships through encouragement, sharing of testimonies and hugs and kisses. There is something about assembling ourselves together for worship or study that reinforces the good we bring to one another. Camaraderie, understanding, sharing and healing are all dynamics of how faith shapes our relationships with family, friends and loved ones.

Reach me at http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com

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How to Think BIG When you Feel Small


conquerorThe story was shared about a young up and coming executive who, along with three other account executives, was assigned a new office as he began his budding advertising career. Three of the offices were identical in size and decoration. The fourth office was smaller and less elaborate. This particular executive was assigned the fourth office. This turned out to be a blow to his pride; he felt discriminated against; his resentment grew and finally he began to lash out against his colleagues. Things got so bad that, finally, management had no choice but to let the young executive go.

Days later, it came to light that the company which employed the young man was in the midst of rapid expansion and office space was at a premium. The executive who made the office assignments had no idea which of the four offices was the smallest.

The only person who regarded his office as ‘small’ was the occupant – the young executive who was fired – because his made the mistake of thinking small.

Here’s the point: No one in the organization, except the account executive, regarded his office as an index of his value. Our value index plays a major role in how we feel in relation to our perception of how we’ve been treated.

There’s not a person on this planet that has not at some point been in a similar situation: we think small because we feel small.

Here are three mindsets on how to change that dynamic – how to think BIG when you feel small.

Focus on What’s Important

When circumstances conspire to make you feel small, you tend to think small. It is then that you must muster the courage to think BIG. Think BIG by focusing on what really is important to you. It’s helpful at this point to know what your end-goal is and to stick with it.

What if the young executive had asked himself over and over, “What’s really important here?” He might have been able to check his ego and salvage his career. We face similar challenges when we’ve been denied something we think we deserve – a promotion, a place on a committee, or a raise! Often, though, the results do not match our perceived reality.

Take an Outside-In Perspective

If that young executive had taken a different perspective, things may have turned out differently. We tend to look at our circumstances from only one perspective: inside-out. After all, it’s happening to us and at us. Learn, though, to take a bird’s eye view of your life; that is, learn to see yourself from outside yourself.

I have often reviewed by behavior from such a perspective, especially when it involved a disagreement with a person. Looking at it from the outside-in, I learned some things about tendencies and about my communication patterns. I saw some things that needed improving, as well as some things I did well.

Never Play to the Level of your Thinking

In other words, always, always think BIG. One of the most important success principles a person can ever adopt is the ‘Self Q&A’ – the willingness to ask oneself important questions – and the courage to provide the answers! The person who does not play to the level of their thinking, but rather who makes it a goal to think as BIG as possible, is the one who usually comes out on top.

That young executive played to the level of his thinking – in a cramped, small office that he ‘thought’ was indicative of his value. Don’t make the mistake of thinking to your level or to the level of your competition.

We think small when we feel small. Today, think and feel BIG!

Reach me at http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com

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How to Write a Personal Vision Statement


canvasA personal vision statement is a self-produced guide for your life that serves as a written creed as you navigate the demands of your physical environment. Why do you need a personal vision statement? As you move through life, it is helpful to reference a statement of what you believe to be your purpose and how you will go about accomplishing it.

Before you write a personal vision statement, you must reflect and contemplate on what values you most cherish. Some questions you might want to answer are:

What are the things you most enjoy doing? What has to happen each day of your life in order for you to be fulfilled? What are your three most important goals for your life? If you never have to work another day in your life, what would you spend your time doing? What are your strengths? What have you left undone in your life that you’d like to complete?

These are just some of the questions you should attempt to answer before you sit down to compose your vision statement. Once you have reflected on the answers to those (and other) questions, consider the following attributes of composing a personal vision statement.


Write your vision on paper; write your dreams down. When you write your goals, ideas, aspirations and dreams on paper, you are more likely to achieve them, notes Brian Tracy, the eminent life strategist and author. Keep in mind, when you begin writing, other questions will begin to register in your consciousness. Don’t be overwhelmed. Most of all, do not attempt to write your vision statement in one setting. Make it point to write, then take a break. Or, even better, write a paragraph, and then totally change your environment – such as relocating from your living room table to outside in a serene setting.

Write in the First Person:

When you write in the first person, you are drawing out the ‘I’ of your infinite possibilities. This is all about YOU! This is about your dreams, your goals – you are the star of this show! Dream big in the first person; no dream is ever too big to at first write and then to pursue.

Write as if you are writing a letter to your future self; imagine having already accomplished your goals. First-person writing is a ‘drawing out’ as well as a ‘calling forth’; it is charting your aspirations and giving your dream its legs and feet.

Write and Rewrite:

When you write, don’t just stop there; a lot of people write a goal or dream but then quit or walk away. In other words, they don’t ‘edit’ or rewrite. When you were in high school or college, rarely did you turn in the first draft of a paper or research project. In most cases, you had to write a few drafts. Take the same approach with your vision – write a few drafts!

This brings clarity to your dream or goal. Write notes. Revisit them often. “Write the vision. Make it plain”. It’s important because, as you write and rewrite, your vision continues to expand; your dreams get bigger.

Here is a draft of my personal vision statement that you can use as a template for your own:

My personal vision is to reach the apex of my profession as an Executive Coach so that I may fulfill my mission to empower and push others toward their greatness as I open to my own unfolding and progressively move toward perfect health, financial freedom and love and relationship. I will accomplish my vision by nurturing my body, mind and spirit; by constantly improving my business and organizational skill-sets; by remaining true to my core principles and by constructively engaging with others who may assist me in the accomplishment of my dreams.

Write the vision!

Reach me at  http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com

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Why Coaching Single-Dads is Important

single dad


I am a single dad. I am also a holistic life coach. I have a passion for single-dads because I am a single-dad and the challenges faced by us are as ominous as they are self-defeating. Single-fathers face daunting challenges of access and visitation, communication skill-sets when dealing with a hostile co-parent and how to best conduct themselves while in court.

The last fifty years has seen a veritable explosion of single-dads in American society. According to the Pew Research Center, the number of households headed by a father has increased dramatically – from 300,000 in 1960 to 2.5 million in 2011. Some of these men are sharing custody but a sizable number of them have sole custody.

Within this context, far too many men – black, white, brown, rich, poor and from all walks of life – who want to be a part of their children’s lives face hostile circumstances and even threats of death.

Every day it seems we hear a litany of stories over the news media about single-dads, guys who love their children no more or no less than you or me, getting arrested for crimes against the mothers of their children.

So I took action! I formed a group called Their Eyes Were Watching Daddy and got busy trying to convince every single-dad I could of the folly of using violence to settle disputes with the mother of their children. I was unsure of any progress.

I decided I would use my holistic life coaching skills and emphatic communication skills and offer direct coaching – either directly or through groups – to encourage and equip single fathers on three important outcomes:

One: effective strategies for resolving conflict between themselves and the co-parent.

Two: personal achievement skills, because I think it’s important for single-dads to focus not only on their relationship with the child, but also give due diligence to their own becoming.

Through my C.O.P.E. program I coach single-dads to live in a state of confident, optimistic, positive, expectation.

This forms the basis of our coaching mantra: Better men. Better fathers. Better communities!

The third area I coach single-dads on is what I call access and etiquette – the do’s and don’t’s of courtroom appearances. I emphasize simple tips on how to dress for court, how to address the judge and how to self-represent if they cannot afford legal advice.

I share my own experiences from being in court before a judge and from participating in mediation. I am not playing legal expert here; I resource legal advice and consultation to a family court attorney who works with my organization.

I hope to help at least one dad take the high road and to always remember that, when it comes to the children, their eyes are watching us.

Reach me at http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com

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Compete More than you Complain


next level mindsetDo you know why most people quit the game of life and settle? Because the calls go against them; life flags them for lost yardage; they commit turnovers from which they lose the zeal to recover. They look up at the scoreboard and realize they are behind on their dreams. Don’t let that be you! Stay in the game. It’s not winning the game, it’s how you play it. Compete more than you complain. You may be behind on your dreams but never get behind on your desire!


Reach me at http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com